Summary
Olga Koshimbetova and Steven Frendhad a tumultuous marriage on90 Day Fiancéseason 6, and I’m convinced I saw red flags before their split. The pair first met in the U.S. while Olga was visiting on a temporary work visa.Olga and Steven’s relationshipprogressed quickly, and soon after returning to Russia, Olga found out she was pregnant. Steven decided to be a part of the child’s life and traveled to Russia for the birth of their son, Alex. As fans await90 Day Fiancéseason 11, it’s time to talk about all the red flags before Olga and Steven announced their split in August 2024.
Steven struggled with becoming a parent, which led to tension between him and Olga. He also became controlling and harsh, especially during Olga’s recovery from childbirth. However, they went through the K-1 visa process, with Olga and Steven getting married in 2019. Steven and Olga separated for the first time in 2020, but later rekindled their relationship and welcomed a daughter, Leila, in September 2022.Olga pursued a career in photography in NYCas she and Steven settled into married life, but their latest split in 2024 didn’t come as a surprise.
20 Best Reality TV Shows Right Now
Reality TV is more popular than ever. With so many to choose from, here are some of the best reality TV shows to stream or watch right now.
He Often Lashed Out At Olga
Steven’s anger issues created a lot of tension in his relationship with Olga during90 Day Fiancéseason 6, and it’s obvious to me that his behavior was a major red flag. One of the most notable examples occurred shortly after the birth of their son. According toMonsters and Critics, during an argument on90 Day Fiancé, Steven became visibly frustrated and exclaimed, “You’re not going to tell me not to touch my son!” when Olga asked him to be more careful while handling Alex. Olga responded by calling him “crazy.”
“The gaslighting, constant victimhood, and emotional manipulation he does are all textbook behaviors of verbally and emotionally abusive partners. I am deeply concerned for Olga and their baby.”
Steven’s behavior on90 Day Fiancéand beyond prompted fans on Reddit to label Steven as abusive, and I agree. Reddit useru/femmebot86posted, “It is getting incredibly uncomfortable to watch these scenes with Steven and Olga,“continuing,“The gaslighting, constant victimhood, and emotional manipulation he does are all textbook behaviors of verbally and emotionally abusive partners. I am deeply concerned for Olga and their baby.” The way Steven prioritized his feelings when Olga needed his support and lashed out at her for no reason was concerning, especially as he appeared on reality TV.
Steven’s anger issues also came to the forefront regarding Olga’s K-1 visa. Olga had assumed Steven had already started the K-1 visa process, but he had not. When she confronted him, he responded in a defensive manner despite the issue being his fault. Steven’s fuse was always short with Olga, and this seemed to be a clear sign to me that Olga needed to run far away. Unfortunately, it took years for her to come to her senses.
Steven Didn’t Adequately Support Olga After Her C-Section
He Was Only Focused On Himself
Steven was waving the biggest, brightest red flag in the aftermath of Olga’s C-section. Right after Olga gave birth via an emergency C-section, she needed time to recover physically and emotionally. However,Steven’s frustration with Olga began almost immediately, with him frequently complaining about how she was handling things or prioritizing Alex, rather than him. Instead of showing patience and understanding, Steven criticized her for being slow or emotional. His outbursts were selfish and self-indulgent.
Steven was low on empathy and didn’t seem to care about Olga in the aftermath of her C-section, which was a gigantic red flag for their relationship.
His lack of compassion during her postpartum recovery was a major red flag for fans like me, who felt that Olga needed more support during this challenging period. In the same Reddit post, commenters added, “It was disturbing to watch. Being jealous of a newborn baby and then acting like Olga should just be up and at it after an operation. I hope Olga takes her son and run,” and, “He is 100% abusive. He’s a petulant child who has no business being someone’s partner let alone a father.”
Clearly, Olga was being conned into believing she was doing something wrong by needing time and space to recover. Additionally, Steven seemed overwhelmed by his new role as a father, which led to arguments about their parenting styles.Steven had a terrible childhoodand was likely repeating negative patterns, but Olga and Alex deserved better. Despite splitting, they later reconciled, but Olga should have seen Steven’s pattern of behavior and left him for good.
Steven And Olga’s Relationship Revolved Around An Unplanned Pregnancy
They Weren’t Compatible
Steven and Olga obviously shared a connection when she visited the United States, but it’s unlikely their relationship would have ever progressed past a hookup if Olga hadn’t gotten pregnant. Their entire relationship revolved around Olga’s pregnancy, and Steven resented both her and Alex after she gave birth. Throughout the show, Steven’s immaturity and controlling behavior, combined with the challenges of becoming parents, revealed significant cracks in their fragile relationship.
Steven often displayed frustration and impatience with Olga, placing pressure on the young Russian woman to meet his ever-changing and unfair expectations, all while she was dealing with postpartum recovery and the challenges of motherhood in a foreign country. Most importantly, the power imbalance in their relationship (especially with Olga needing to move to the U.S. to stay with Steven) made their relationship remarkably unfair. Olga was ready to be mature and rise to the occasion of parenthood, whereas Steven remained childish.
Steven Didn’t Prioritize Olga And Their Children
He Only Cared About Himself
Steven consistently neglected to prioritize Olga in their relationship. Before Olga and Alex could reunite with Steven in the United States, Steven went out drinking with friends instead of supporting Olga during a stressful time involving baby Alex’s passport. This was yet another sign of his immaturity, but it’s also proof that he didn’t prioritize Olga and Alex. Over time, it became evident that Steven and Olga had mounting communication issues, with Steven failing to be there for Olga emotionally. This only further strained their relationship and made him more distant.
Steven and Olga reunited in 2022 and welcomed Leila, but their relationship was always based more on co-parenting than genuine love and partnership. It was likely a mistake for the pair to get back together given Steven’s anger and selfishness. Perhaps Steven has grown up a bit, but I’m glad Olga is confident and secure enough to move on from the American man.
Despite Steven’s many red flags,I’m glad that Olga had the chance to build a life and careerin the United States. I’m certain Olga didn’t expect her life to turn out this way when she visited the U.S. on a temporary visa, but she’s living her dream as a photographer in NYC. Despite all the red flags in their relationship, I hope that Olga is happy and thriving. She deserves the best after her difficult journey on90 Day Fiancéwith Steven.
90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?season 8 airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on TLC.
Sources:Monsters and Critics,u/femmebot86/Reddit
90 Day Fiancé
Cast
90 Day Fiancé follows international couples navigating the challenges of cultural differences and family dynamics under the pressure of a 90-day fiancé visa in the pursuit of marriage and lasting love. Released in 2014, the series explores the complexities of cross-border relationships within the set timeframe.
